I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
