are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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