If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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