My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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