Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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