My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so let's talk penis.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
