I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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