sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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