omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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