OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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