he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it because I queefed?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
