Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
