Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
