Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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