why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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