I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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