Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
