The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
