The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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