covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
