you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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