kristin has been a bad kristin
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
