oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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