I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
