She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
