Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
