I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
