brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
