Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
