I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize