so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
