It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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