I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
