I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
