:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
