i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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