I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
