The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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