I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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