So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
