flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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