She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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