Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
