Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
