My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
