Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
