He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
