I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
