my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
