So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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