i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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