He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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