four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
