At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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