The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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