Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
