Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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