He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize