you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize