let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
