i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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