I am puke
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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