So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
