I don't think brook has ever known best
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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