Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
