Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
