I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
