He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
